I Don't Remember Wearing That Turban

You may not remember wearing the turban, but I sure as hell remember wearing a pink shirt covered in shit. But I do think you should grow a beard again.

I am the first person to comment on this entire site… You definately are one crazy guy… Turban or no turban!

By the time you have read this… I will have delivered your baby…. (our baby)

Your stupid!
Sandra

MY PICTURE!! lol i totally forgot about that…...uhh yep thats copyrighted! haha….funny stuff!

Dave, where are the updates?

July 8th, come on… that’s been almost 2 months.

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I was gratified to be able to answer promptly. I said I don’t know.

You need only reflect that one of the best ways to get yourself a reputation as a dangerous citizen these days is to go about repeating the very phrases which our founding fathers used in the struggle for independence.

What more felicity can fall to creature, than to enjoy delight with liberty.

Everything of importance has been said before by somebody who did not discover it.

The ornament of a house is the friends who frequent it.

Never despair; but if you do, work on in despair.

There is nothing more dreadful than imagination without taste.

Cheese – milk’s leap toward immortality.

There is an evil tendency underlying all our technology – the tendency to do what is reasonable even when it isn’t any good.

We owe something to extravagance, for thrift and adventure seldom go hand in hand.

All programmers are playwrights and all computers are lousy actors.

He attacked everything in life with a mix of extrordinary genius and naive incompetence, and it was often difficult to tell which was which.

I’m struck by the insidious, computer-driven tendency to take things out of the domain of muscular activity and put them into the domain of mental activity. The transfer is not paying off. Sure, muscles are unreliable, but they represent several million years of accumulated finesse.

The first precept was never to accept a thing as true until I knew it as such without a single doubt.

Those are my principles, and if you don’t like them… well, I have others.

When you want to believe in something, you also have to believe in everything that’s necessary for believing in it.

Life isn’t fair. It’s just fairer than death, that’s all.

I have enjoyed greatly the second blooming… suddenly you find – at the age of 50, say – that a whole new life has opened before you.

Reading well is one of the great pleasures that solitude can afford you.

Talk sense to a fool and he calls you foolish.

The scornful nostril and the high head gather not the odors that lie on the track of truth.

If you really do put a small value upon yourself, rest assured that the world will not raise your price.

Hollywood is a place where they place you under contract instead of under observation.

The coldest winter I ever spent was a summer in San Francisco.

People fail forward to success.

History is more or less bunk.

A lie can travel halfway around the world while the truth is putting on its shoes.

Three may keep a secret, if two of them are dead.

Looks are part of business. A businessman should never stand out more than his customers. His mannerisms, his clothes, everything about him… Moderation is the key.

You cannot make a man by standing a sheep on its hind legs. But by standing a flock of sheep in that position you can make a crowd of men.

Science is nothing but developed perception, interpreted intent, common sense rounded out and minutely articulated.

Because we don’t think about future generations, they will never forget us.

We don’t know a millionth of one percent about anything.

Never does the human soul appear so strong and noble as when it foregoes revenge and dares to forgive an injury.

Our problems are man-made, therefore they may be solved by man. And man can be as big as he wants. No problem of human destiny is beyond human beings.

I stand in awe of my body.

This country has come to feel the same when Congress is in session as when the baby gets hold of a hammer.

Cheerfulness, it would appear, is a matter which depends fully as much on the state of things within, as on the state of things without and around us.

To do anything truly worth doing, I must not stand back shivering and thinking of the cold and danger, but jump in with gusto and scramble through as well as I can.

I am free of all prejudice. I hate everyone equally.

It is not enough to succeed. Others must fail.

The louder he talked of his honor, the faster we counted our spoons.

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Results! Why, man, I have gotten a lot of results. I know several thousand things that won’t work.

Silence is one of the hardest arguments to refute.

A little government and a little luck are necessary in life, but only a fool trusts either of them.

That you may retain your self-respect, it is better to displease the people by doing what you know is right, than to temporarily please them by doing what you know is wrong.

O Lord, help me to be pure, but not yet.

He attacked everything in life with a mix of extrordinary genius and naive incompetence, and it was often difficult to tell which was which.

Normal is not something to aspire to, it’s something to get away from.

Without the capacity to provide its own information, the mind drifts into randomness.

What’s the earth With all its art, verse, music, worth – Compared with love, found, gained, and kept?

It is not enough to do good; one must do it the right way.

Wisdom is knowing what to do next; virtue is doing it.

We owe something to extravagance, for thrift and adventure seldom go hand in hand.

Sometimes love will pick you up by the short hairs…and jerk the heck out of you.

Eat a third and drink a third and leave the remaining third of your stomach empty. Then, when you get angry, there will be sufficient room for your rage.

Censorship, like charity, should begin at home; but, unlike charity, it should end there.

People fail forward to success.

The true mystery of the world is the visible, not the invisible.

Many people weigh the guilt they will feel against the pleasure of the forbidden action they want to take.

Confidence is the sexiest thing a woman can have. It’s much sexier than any body part.

The man who is swimming against the stream knows the strength of it.

Be sincere; be brief; be seated.

Nothing is as certain as that the vices of leisure are gotten rid of by being busy.

No.

Exercise ferments the humors, casts them into their proper channels, throws off redundancies, and helps nature in those secret distributions, without which the body cannot subsist in its vigor, nor the soul act with cheerfulness.

As long as you derive inner help and comfort from anything, keep it.

There is an applause superior to that of the multitudes: one’s own.

I like weights. You know where you stand with them. Well, sometimes you’re lying under them, trying not to let them crush you, but you see, you KNOW they’d crush you if they could. There’s honesty.

The brain is a wonderful organ. It starts working the moment you get up in the morning and does not stop until you get into the office.

My theology, briefly, is that the universe was dictated but not signed.

How could you be a Great Man if history brought you no Great Events, or brought you to them at the wrong time, too young, too old?

Let not the sands of time get in your lunch.

Preserving health by too severe a rule is a worrisome malady.

In America, through pressure of conformity, there is freedom of choice, but nothing to choose from.

There are a terrible lot of lies going around the world, and the worst of it is half of them are true.

There are a terrible lot of lies going around the world, and the worst of it is half of them are true.

I believe that all government is evil, and that trying to improve it is largely a waste of time.

Better by far you should forget and smile than you should remember and be sad.

I’m struck by the insidious, computer-driven tendency to take things out of the domain of muscular activity and put them into the domain of mental activity. The transfer is not paying off. Sure, muscles are unreliable, but they represent several million years of accumulated finesse.

Democracy is the recurrent suspicion that more than half of the people are right more than half the time.

Our deeds determine us, as much as we determine our deeds.

The problem with people who have no vices is that generally you can be pretty sure they’re going to have some pretty annoying virtues.

An idealist is one who, on noticing that a rose smells better than a cabbage, concludes that it will also make better soup.

There is nothing more dreadful than imagination without taste.

The Americans have need of the telephone, but we do not. We have plenty of messenger boys.

Lack of money is no obstacle. Lack of an idea is an obstacle.

Feeling grateful to or appreciative of someone or something in your life actually attracts more of the things that you appreciate and value into your life.

Forget injuries, never forget kindnesses.

Always seek out the seed of triumph in every adversity.

The charity that hastens to proclaim its good deeds, ceases to be charity, and is only pride and ostentation.

Health consists of having the same diseases as one’s neighbors.

Do not be awe struck by other people and try to copy them. Nobody can be you as efficiently as you can.

When I was a kid my parents moved a lot, but I always found them.

All the world’s a cage.

A chess genius is a human being who focuses vast, little-understood mental gifts and labors on an ultimately trivial human enterprise.

Poets have been mysteriously silent on the subject of cheese.

My philosophy is that not only are you responsible for your life, but doing the best at this moment puts you in the best place for the next moment.

Love is that splendid triggering of human vitality… the supreme activity which nature affords anyone for going out of himself toward someone else.

He who labors diligently need never despair; for all things are accomplished by diligence and labor.

Let us so live that when we come to die even the undertaker will be sorry.

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The trick is to make sure you don’t die waiting for prosperity to come.

You cannot run away from a weakness; you must sometimes fight it out or perish. And if that be so, why not now, and where you stand?

The reasonable man adapts himself to the world; the unreasonable one persists in trying to adapt the world to himself. Therefore, all progress depends on the unreasonable man.

When you make a mistake, don’t look back at it long. Take the reason of the thing into your mind and then look forward. Mistakes are lessons of wisdom. The past cannot be changed. The future is yet in your power.

The dead might as well try to speak to the living as the old to the young.

Be a good listener. Your ears will never get you in trouble.

The secret of greatness is simple: do better work than any other man in your field – and keep on doing it.

Love is that splendid triggering of human vitality… the supreme activity which nature affords anyone for going out of himself toward someone else.

We think in generalities, but we live in detail.

People fail forward to success.

The freethinking of one age is the common sense of the next.

We should every night call ourselves to an account; What infirmity have I mastered today? What passions opposed? What temptation resisted? What virtue acquired? Our vices will abort of themselves if they be brought every day to the shrift.

All animals are equal but some animals are more equal than others.

We need anything politically important rationed out like Pez: small, sweet, and coming out of a funny, plastic head.

Nor do not saw the air too much with your hand, thus, but use all gently. For in the very torrent, tempest, and as I may say, whirlwind of passion, you must acquire and beget a temperance that may give it smoothness.

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I believe in God, only I spell it Nature.

I ran the wrong kind of business, but I did it with integrity.

The most erroneous stories are those we think we know best – and therefore never scrutinize or question.

Keep cool and you command everybody.

My friends are my estate.

Every moment of one’s existence one is growing into more or retreating into less.

The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it.

My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was sixty. She’s ninety-seven now, and we don’t know where the hell she is.

Learning to live in the present moment is part of the path of joy.

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What can you say about a society that says that God is dead and Elvis is alive?

Science is nothing but developed perception, interpreted intent, common sense rounded out and minutely articulated.

I believe in God, only I spell it Nature.

The human mind treats a new idea the same way the body treats a strange protein; it rejects it.

Insanity in individuals is something rare – but in groups, parties, nations and epochs, it is the rule.

Humor is always based on a modicum of truth. Have you ever heard a joke about a father-in-law?

Listen. Do not have an opinion while you listen because frankly, your opinion doesn?t hold much water outside of Your Universe. Just listen. Listen until their brain has been twisted like a dripping towel and what they have to say is all over the floor.

All men are frauds. The only difference between them is that some admit it. I myself deny it.

It is never too late to give up our prejudices.

If you would be a real seeker after truth, it is necessary that at least once in your life you doubt, as far as possible, all things.

Where facts are few, experts are many.

A minute’s success pays the failure of years.

I used to think that the brain was the most wonderful organ in my body. Then I realized who was telling me this.

Cheerfulness, it would appear, is a matter which depends fully as much on the state of things within, as on the state of things without and around us.

We cannot destroy kindred: Our chains stretch a little sometimes, but they never break.

The excellence of a gift lies in its appropriateness rather than in its value.

Your world is made of your memories, and your memories are given to you by your world. The whispering voice of happenstance is always in our ears. ‘This is the world. This is the way things are. Look. Pay attention. Remember.’

The older I grow, the less important the comma becomes. Let the reader catch his own breath.

I like to play blackjack. I’m not addicted to gambling, I’m addicted to sitting in a semi-circle.

Sometimes when you innovate, you make mistakes. It is best to admit them quickly, and get on with improving your other innovations.

Lack of money is no obstacle. Lack of an idea is an obstacle.

The world tolerates conceit from those who are successful, but not from anybody else.

A sympathetic Scot summed it all up very neatly in the remark, “You should make a point of trying every experience once, excepting incest and folk dancing.”

I was not a child prodigy, because a child prodigy is a child who knows as much when it is a child as it does when it grows up.

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I never think of the future – it comes soon enough.

Editor: a person employed by a newspaper, whose business it is to separate the wheat from the chaff, and to see that the chaff is printed.

A mind troubled by doubt cannot focus on the course to victory.

While we have the gift of life, it seems to me that only tragedy is to allow part of us to die – whether it is our spirit, our creativity, or our glorious uniqueness.

Nothing is as certain as that the vices of leisure are gotten rid of by being busy.

Let us so live that when we come to die even the undertaker will be sorry.

The happiest is the person who suffers the least pain; the most miserable who enjoys the least pleasure.

On the plus side, death is one of the few things that can be done just as easily lying down.

Hearing voices no one else can hear isn’t a good sign, even in the wizarding world.

Always do right. This will gratify some people and astonish the rest.

I love my past. I love my present. I’m not ashamed of what I’ve had, and I’m not sad because I have it no longer.

Skiing combines outdoor fun with knocking down trees with your face.

I phoned my dad to tell him I had stopped smoking. He called me a quitter.

The roses, the lovely notes, the dining and dancing are all welcome and splendid. But when the Godiva is gone, the gift of real love is having someone who’ll go the distance with you. Someone who, when the wedding day limo breaks down, is willing to share a seat on the bus.

Nobody can be exactly like me. Sometimes even I have trouble doing it.

A hobby a day keeps the doldrums away.

Funny business, a woman’s career: the things you drop on the way up the ladder so you can move faster. You forget you’ll need them again when you get back to being a woman. It’s one career all females have in common, whether we like it or not: being a woman. Sooner or later, we’ve got to work at it, no matter how many other careers we’ve had or wanted.

All the world’s a cage.

Our own physical body possesses a wisdom which we who inhabit the body lack.

I’m glad I didn’t have to fight in any war. I’m glad I didn’t have to pick up a gun. I’m glad I didn’t get killed or kill somebody. I hope my kids enjoy the same lack of manhood.

The price one pays for pursuing any profession or calling is an intimate knowledge of its ugly side.

Life engenders life. Energy creates energy. It is by spending oneself that one becomes rich.

Is love supposed to last throughout all time, or is it like trains changing at random stops. If I loved her, how could I leave her? If I felt that way then, how come I don’t feel anything now?

Where facts are few, experts are many.

Good company and good discourse are the very sinews of virtue.

I find it rather easy to portray a businessman. Being bland, rather cruel and incompetent comes naturally to me.

The scornful nostril and the high head gather not the odors that lie on the track of truth.

Music is essentially useless, as life is.

I have come to the conclusion that politics are too serious a matter to be left to the politicians.

There are worse things in life than death. Have you ever spent an evening with an insurance salesman?

He who will not reason is a bigot; he who cannot is a fool; and he who dares not is a slave.

It’s never just a game when you’re winning.

Noble life demands a noble architecture for noble uses of noble men. Lack of culture means what it has always meant: ignoble civilization and therefore imminent downfall.

You can have it all. You just can’t have it all at once.

Nothing is said that has not been said before.

I don’t think about risks much. I just do what I want to do. If you gotta go, you gotta go.

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Whatever you fear most has no power – it is your fear that has the power.

Listen. Do not have an opinion while you listen because frankly, your opinion doesn?t hold much water outside of Your Universe. Just listen. Listen until their brain has been twisted like a dripping towel and what they have to say is all over the floor.

To be nobody but yourself in a world which is doing its best day and night to make you like everybody else means to fight the hardest battle which any human being can fight and never stop fighting.

Wisdom is knowing what to do next; virtue is doing it.

Oh, I don’t blame Congress. If I had $600 billion at my disposal, I’d be irresponsible, too.

I don’t own a cell phone or a pager. I just hang around everyone I know, all the time. If someone wants to get a hold of me, they just say ‘Mitch,’ and I say ‘what?’ and turn my head slightly.

When they discover the center of the universe, a lot of people will be disappointed to discover they are not it.

To be nobody but yourself in a world which is doing its best day and night to make you like everybody else means to fight the hardest battle which any human being can fight and never stop fighting.

The only difference between a rut and a grave… is in their dimensions.

Nothing contributes so much to tranquilizing the mind as a steady purpose – a point on which the soul may fix its intellectual eye.

Be careful that victories do not carry the seed of future defeats.

Paradise is exactly like where you are right now… only much, much better.

I have often wished I had time to cultivate modesty… But I am too busy thinking about myself.

When I was a kid my parents moved a lot, but I always found them.

You can only cure retail but you can prevent wholesale.

A joke’s a very serious thing.

The dead might as well try to speak to the living as the old to the young.

Never rely on the glory of the morning nor the smiles of your mother-in-law.

Well done is better than well said.

Never let the demands of tomorrow interfere with the pleasures and excitement of today.

Sometimes love will pick you up by the short hairs…and jerk the heck out of you.

That man is the richest whose pleasures are the cheapest.

A smiling face is half the meal.

Like anyone else, there are days I feel beautiful and days I don’t, and when I don’t, I do something about it.

Learn to get in touch with the silence within yourself and know that everything in this life has a purpose.

Quotation, n: The act of repeating erroneously the words of another.

The happiest is the person who suffers the least pain; the most miserable who enjoys the least pleasure.

No matter what I do, no matter how predictable I try to make my life, it will not be any more predictable than the rest of the world. Which is chaotic.